The reason for my tattoo. If anyone is interested.
This was very hard for me to write, but I thought I would share it.
Rest In Paradise, and know I love you and miss you and can’t wait Until We Meet Again
CBB & TKM
Ms. Dorothy Hans
12 October 2011
Until We Meet Again
Mud flies and engines rev up as my friends and I lean as close as we can to the white fence. It was that time of year again; Dennis Anderson’s Muddy Motor Sportspark was open for another crazy season of mud boggin’. I can still hear the crowd roaring as the announcer belts out “Coltonnnnn Berfielddd!” My friends and I scream as loud as our bodies will allow as we watch Currituck Betty, the old beat up mud truck, glide across the pits. The rebel flag flowing in all directions as the wind picks up, this was after all redneck central. Just inches away from the finish line the truck comes to a halt and even though Colton did not make it to the end of that pit these were the moments he lived for. He never gave up and his determination inspired every individual that came in contact with him.
I wake up to my phone ringing. It was a cold December morning and waking up early for school never put me in a good mood. My phone lights up, “Kayla Breen calling…”, it said, and I could not figure out why my friend that lived in a different area that I hadn’t spoken to in weeks would be calling me at seven in the morning. I answer and on the other end I hear hurt in my friends voice as she asks, “Is it true?” She sounds frantic, and I have no clue as to what she could be talking about. “Is what true?” I respond in a flustered drowsy state. “Did something happen to Colton?”, pause. Why is she asking me about a close friend of mine she’s only met twice? “What?”
The fumes of fresh paint and new carpet fill the house that Taylor’s grandmother and Tammy have moved into. We walk in and hear the television coming from the back of the house. “Yeahhhh!!” We hear Tammy. We follow the sound of something being hit and walk in to see Tammy sitting in her chair banging her hairbrush on the arm because she was always so excited about her WWE show. It was her birthday and I had a heart shaped necklace with her name on it I wanted to give her for her birthday, not that it mattered because Tammy wasn’t picky; she was happy with a pack of socks as a Christmas gift. When I gave her the necklace her face lit up as she hugged me, this was only for a moment though, because her wrestling was on. She had to watch her wrestling.
I was sitting in my mom’s office, helping file cases. Every time I got the chance I would volunteer at her office, the criminal division clerk’s office at the Cheapeake Court House, when I wasn’t working and they needed the help. My phone buzzed on desk I was sitting at. “New Message” from Tayl”whore”, my best friend at the time. We hadn’t talked in a few days; we were in an argument over something I now cannot recall. I was confused. Why did she all of a sudden want to talk?
Kayla’s response made me drop my phone. “John posted a bulletin on Myspace.” She paused, and through her tears she asked me, “Is Colton really dead?” I picked up my phone off the floor and hung up. Why did John post that? I heard ringing, no answer. I called again, no answer. What do I do? I called Daniel. I didn’t know what to do. Finally an answer, “What happened Daniel?” He was just as confused as I was. “Daniel! What happened? What happened to Colton?” I hesitated to repeat what Kayla had asked me. He told me he would call me back. It was true John told me. Colton had gotten into a car accident with his stepdad and close family friend. He didn’t make it, he told me. Colton can’t be gone; he’s too young; he had his whole life to live. He had to race trucks, he had to start a career, make a family.
I still have the message locked in my phone. Aug 20, 3:16pm, from Tayl”whore”. “Tammy passed today at 145. Just thought you would want to hear it from me. I can’t talk right now cause im with my family but if you wanna know anything else or just talk to me you can call later..” No, no no no no. It can’t be true. I saw her the other day. She was happy and having fun. She told me she loved me and gave me a big huge hug. I always loved that. Tammy remembered me, she remembered my name. She cared about me. I loved her so much.
Within two short years I lost two amazing people in my life. Colton Brent Berfield; fresh out of high school and ready to pave his way in the world: An ambitious carefree young man who was loved by every person he came in contact with. Tammy Kay McFarland; my best friends’ aunt with down-syndrome; a woman who could make a room light up as soon as you heard her coming, one of WWE’s biggest fans, a simple minded loving happy genuine woman. Why do the good always die young? That is a question I constantly asked myself after all this terrible news. Why do such amazing people get taken from us before we are ready for them to leave?
After some time I came to realize that we cannot choose our time to go. Life happens and although some may be taken short things happen that are out of our control. If there was one thing I now knew is that I admired my two friends to the deepest part of my soul. I need to live my life just as they did; to the fullest. They did not waste time to be angry or hold grudges. They lived with all they had and loved with all they had. They did not waste one moment. I think of them every single day, and I even find myself talking to them or asking for advice. I know they know that I love them so much and miss them terribly. They have taught me so much in life without even realizing it. When life seems as if it cannot get worse, when everything seems to be going wrong, I tell myself it isn’t the end. Tomorrow is a new day to make the best of, every situation could be worse and I need to love what I have and the people I have in my life. I cannot waste one single moment. “